To my son – Going through the grind

Dear Arvind

Today, I would like to talk to you about the inevitability of difficulties coming in your life and what in my view is the best attitude when faced with it.

Say, you are trying hard to get something(promotion, college admission, hike, money, girl’s love, respect, admiration or anything else that means a lot to you) and it does not seem to be coming to you. You might be feeling worse, that what you desire most seems to be coming to someone else. And you wonder if you are worth it or not.

Dear son – Firstly, I am sad to see any sadness come to your beautiful life. You are so blessed and perfect in who you are that, to me, none of what you get or do not get, makes any difference to me. I will still love you.  

Send love and blessings even to strangers

The grief of not getting something can consume you. You might feel like you are losing interest in everything. There will seem days that everything will seem hopeless. You will get angry at others, curse your life, us parents, and curse anyone who is innocent around you.

The negativity might seem to be theme of your life as nothing seem to be going alright to believe that there is something good around you too.

Arvind, here is where there are three stages to go through to turn around your life.

First stage: Relaxing your mind, your body. Medidate and watching your thoughts as an observer outside of you. Bringing silence and being comfortable in silence. Being in nature.

Second stage: Appreciating the smallest beauties in your life. Blessing every stranger or known person for nothing. Giving something to someone every day in silence anonymously.  Being in nature and observing the calmness in every blade of grass or life around you. Observe any negative thought or deed. This is where, being thankful and grateful replaces all negative thoughts with time.  

Third stage: Letting it go. Focus on the bits and pieces you have in front you. Pick them up and act on them with love. If there is any action that you feel good about, and it will not hurt others, then only do it. Or else, wait for a better moment to arrive. Shift your focus to something else. Look at the mirror and smile. Talk to a loved one or a friend, help him or show care for him or her. Help a stranger.

And when you are doing all three stages for a few weeks or months, that is when you will begin to observe goodness happening to you. Your desire, which you had let go, gets transformed to something even greater. Your perspective of what you did not get changes, as you will get something even more deserving.

Have the faith, that God has something great in store for you. You are entitled to greatness and goodness in your life. You are not ordinary. This is a blessed life and this difficult time is only to sharpen your soul. Come what hardship may come, but I am about to receive some greater fruits after this. Let it come and I will bear them. I can bear them, and the universe will owe me for what I beared. Even if the universe does not owe me, I will continue to be good. Any unhappiness, is my cleansing of my bad deeds. Good that I am going through them, let them come. I will not fight it, but surrender to God. Let me accept whatever he has to give me. My prayer and faith will not deter. This universe is mine and I belong to this universe. My heart has no ill-will.

And lo ! When you least expect it, you will suddenly see much happiness come to you and your desires coming true. It came because you had the faith, as Tagore said, “Faith is the song of the dawn bird, before the dawn”….(before the dawn). You need to have faith in goodness that will come to you and that you have God taking care of you, when you are the saddest and having a difficult time.

You “are” a beautiful person. You “are” a wonderful person. You “are” good as you are and need to change nothing in you.

Your loving father,


Photo courtesy: Meanest Indian


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