Archive for July, 2011

Myers-Briggs personality type – INFP is my profile

Posted in people on July 18, 2011 by amotings

I took the Myers-Briggs personality test and for the second time in a span of seven years, and  my personality type is of INFP.  If you are unfamiliar with it, it stands for Introvert-iNtuitive-Feeling-Perceiving. While it is not advisable to label anyone based on the test, I must admit, I am not surprised by my type.

The one thing which I must bring forth is that there is nothing right or wrong about any personality. I got a feedback from my colleagues  in the workshop for Myers-Briggs, that a person with a higher “Feeling” point, will not be able to take “right” decision. The assumption is that, it requires a more “Thinking” personality type, who uses facts to decide.

In coming to my own defense, it is impossible to be a good manager, if you do not feel and think about taking decisions. It is impossible to not feel what you are doing, it is just that we suppress it. 

We know – for example, someone not performing well needs to be given an honest feedback. But, it need not be a regressive communication, but it can be a conversation that will be inspiring moment of truth for the other. Now, how can one do it, unless you feel for the other.

 I believe it is the calling at work which drives you to go beyond what anyone else would do. It is not the personality type which matters how well you do. And yes, one’s emotions are not a prized trophy to flaunt at the workplace – but what one feels about a situation does make a difference in breaking barriers, building behavior and ensuring trust.


Do not let one’s sadness impact loved ones.

Posted in Letters to my son on July 4, 2011 by amotings

While sadness does engulf us all, often it is something we can do nothing about. The best approach then is to let it pass. Even better is to talk it over with a friend and reduce the grief. Instead of struggling with it, I find it fine to be quiet with it. But, I cannot make myself happy with happy thoughts. I do find that I can get over it, by imaging a meaning and purpose and look at opportunity beyond it – a kind of quiet struggle and resolve to get over it.

But while I am at this process, what happens to our loved ones ? Doesn’t your family bear with your pain. Do they deserve it ? No.

Sometimes if my wife reasons with me of the futility of my mood, I get to realize the larger damage done. When you have your spouse and child looking up to you and waiting to be loved, it is unfair on them and quite selfish of ourself to engage in our own moods.

I have found, time and again, that while it is easy to bring your worries home or try and expect a change in some relationship, all the while it is impacted someone else.

Instead, how would it be, if we resolve and make sure that we do not impact anyone who comes in touch with us, with our sadness. How do we live like that ?

 By finding quiet meditation time regularly, and then being able to stay in touch with your innerself at all times. That way, even the sadness, does not percolate deep into you. You are conscious of your purpose at all times and in control of what you are projecting out. And your authentic self is seen – no one gets touched with your sadness because you are at peace. You are living a purpose at all times.

My son is in his best years of his life. An eight year old wants to play, laugh, experience and do things he has never done before. I do not want him to miss the joy by being a father who is more concerned about his worries. Meditation helps, silence helps, talking it over with one’s wife/spouse helps to get over the moods quickly. Let us not let the moments of life slip by us.

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